


Everything Will Be Alright

by cuddlebucket



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 07:09:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/695592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlebucket/pseuds/cuddlebucket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Karkat couldn't help but wonder why he'd been dealt such a difficult hand in life, but then, sometimes he couldn't help but wonder how he managed to be so lucky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything Will Be Alright

**Author's Note:**

> A gift for my friend uwu

Sometimes Karkat couldn't help but wonder why he'd been dealt such a difficult hand in life. His mutant blood kept him holed up and alone and scared, and when he finally got out, it was into a worse chaos than he could have ever dared to imagine. There's no worse feeling than being an ineffective leader in charge of a gaggle of irresponsible preteens with murderous dispositions. Sometimes Karkat felt completely unwanted and utterly useless. 

But then, sometimes he couldn't help but wonder how he managed to be so lucky. 

Lucky, because even though he was a mutant, even though he was stupid and loud and unattractive to boot, even though he was a nobody, she could somehow still look at him like he was somebody. Like he mattered. And that was more than he had ever been able to do for himself. 

She smiled at him- smiled for him, because of him. She called him handsome and cute and funny. She would hold his hand even though it got sweaty and clammy, and she'd pet his unruly hair and call it perfect even though he knew it was far from it. She made his chest swell until he wanted to cry from it, because she'd done so much for him and he couldn't give her anything in return. One night, when those fears came to the surface in the shape of a flood of tears, she held him and rubbed his back and kissed those tears away, and that night, laying there with her snuggled up next to him, her cheek pressed up against his chest while she drifted off, glubbing peacefully in her sleep, he realized just how hard he'd fallen for her. 

For her bright eyes and miles of soft hair, for the excitement in her voice and the pink on her lips and the way they'd move against his when they kissed. The way her fins wiggled when she giggled and how strong she could be if she needed to. Everything she was captivated Karkat, and all he could do to express this was tell her every day how much he loved her. 

But he should've known it couldn't last. Someone like him shouldn't be allowed happiness for too long.

In a flash of bright light she was gone, and his stomach dropped out of him and his heart shrank and retreated to some dark, secret part of him because he couldn't afford to cry. 

He was in a state of shock then, so badly he could hardly remember what happened after, save for his immense relief that at least Sollux was still alive. And then the hollowness when, at the end of it all, he wasn't, and neither was more than half of his friends. 

Even though some of his friends were still alive, and even though dave and Rose had shown up, he was still alone, because lonliness doesn't only have to do with being physically alone, and because no one looked at him the way she did. Few would even look at him at all. So he was just as alone when his battered heart crept out of the hole it'd shut itself up in, and when he finally broke down, no one was there to hear it.   
When he showed up again after three days missing, Dave at least had the heart to ask him (with debatable seriousness) where he had been, but Karkat just shrugged him off and left him behind, somehow still able to feel Dave's concerned gaze boring into his shoulder blades despite the dark shades hiding his eyes. 

Things were okay then, or at least as okay as they could be with all that had happened. At laest Karkat was talking again. Then they wassed through a bubble and everything was in pieces all over again, becaues for half a second he thought he'd found her again, but it wasn't her. This one's hair was choppy and her attitude rough, and she had a sharpness all about her that was nothing like the one he loved. Even her smile was more fierce, more bestial than Karkat had ever remembered his love's being. 

He was relieved when they left that bubble. 

 

One night as Karkat lie awake staring numbly at the ceiling for lack of anything better to do, he felt hte familiar shiver of a chill that meant they were passing through a dream bubble, and he grunted, turning on his side and wrapping up tighter into himself, closing his eyes and hoping he could sleep through this one. That he could sleep at all.

He heard that musical giggle, like the babbling of water against the rocks of a small brook, and his eyes went wide with disbelief. It couldn't be. He couldn't let himself believe it because to believe would hurt too much, but then he felt her soft touch on his shoulder and her voice near his ear, teasing him. 

"You look like a pillbug, Karcrab."

Karkat rolled over and sat up as quick as his limbs would allow, dumbfounded, his heart beating so hard and fast that it was choking him. She was kneeling there in front of him, smiling like she always had, and even though her eyes were empty, white and dead, they were still so paradoxically full of life. 

"Whale, NOW you look like a fish!" Fefri went on, flaring out the fins on the sides of her face and making a fishy expression, crossing her eyes and opening and shutting her mouth repeatedly, then broke off in a fit of giggles. "Come on, say somefin!" She had settled down to sit cross legged in front of him, her hands in her lap. 

But Karkat couldn't say somefin. He couldn't say anyfin in fact. None of the fins. He just jumped forward and hugged her as hard as he could, and even though she was cold to the touch he didn't care, because she was finally there, finally back, even if only for a little bit. And he was crying again, babbling over and over how much he missed her, and she just hugged him back and smiled and told him to not be such a 'gloomy glubber', and that everything was alright, and she kissed him and he kissed her and they spent the night talking and holding hands and even though she had to leave, for the first time in a while, Karkat felt like he could believe her when she said everything would be alright, because even though she wouldn't be with him, she would always be thinking of him. 

Yeah, everything would be fine.


End file.
